Tuesday, April 11, 2006

"TMI," you'll shout, whilst covering your bleeding eyes.

I went to the doctor this morning. They shoe-horned me in to the schedule. My health insurance provider and all its doctors and medical center personnel continue to be WAY TOO NICE FOR HEALTH CARE. Seriously? Where's the hate? Access some contempt for the sicky! I feel like a human being, and from previous experiences, I thought health care was supposed to demoralize me to the core. Weird.

Anyhow, I could write an entire post about the indignities of my current affliction, including the fact that I have been charged with collecting a stool sample. Yeah, I wish I were kidding about that, but no. And apparently when it's most needed my body has decided that it can't fathom the thought of ever expelling waste again. Ever. It's like someone told me it was time to don a wedding dress again. I didn't poo for like 6 days before and 4 days after the wedding. I think that might have been illuminating for people around me to know when the question arose "What's up her BEEP?" [To all my engaged friends: be ye not like Erica - take a laxative or eat a lot of fruit or SOMETHING. Also, take half a dose of a sleep aid. I got 90 minutes of sleep in a fitful, five-hour period the night before. Just a little unsolicited advice there for ya to go with the mountains you've already gotten from anyone who's ever known anyone who might have gotten engaged and/or married.]

ANYHOW, between that and booking travel, freight, and accommodations for several conventions, answering all the speaker requests for Jefe, remembering and then beginning to update CD liner artwork, AND attempting to mock-up a frighteningly complex idea for new ads, I should basically be fired for writing this. If only it didn't make me feel so much better . . .


Anonymous said...

on a totally unrelated issue.

Plankiest said...

You know what's hilarious? I only know of one bride who got sleep, or a good portion of sleep the night before the wedding.

But my friend G and I stayed up all night before her wedding. Good times.

And I spent most of my night (before my wedding) in a Florida emergency room.

You know, I think you are onto something here. I wonder what other brides were doing the night before their wedding?

Mair said...

it's shocking, because I have trouble sleeping most of the time, and I actually did alright the before my wedding. I didn't even take any sleeping pills. I probably got a good, solid 5-6 hours. Amazing.

Anyway, good luck with the poop sample.

Trey said...

thanks for adding to the "reasons I'll never get married"