Today is Ash Wednesday. I have ashes on my forehead, placed on me in the sign of the cross but better resembling a grey blob - a grey blob that iches where it's drawn the moisture from my skin. I knelt on a wood floor because the choir loft doesn't have kneeling cushions. I listened to the Rite I language (which our church uses every other year) through all the embellishments of the Elizabethan English to the service elements I thought I knew by heart. Yet I am glad I went to church today.
Our choir director hates Lent. She understands its importance, but she dislikes the dreary music, the special rules (she can't pick any hymns with the word "allelulia" anywhere in them) and the black robes we wear. She's a cheerful person and the dreary season feels unnecessary when it comes around every single year. I, on the other hand, love me some Lenten season. It feeds into my melancholic side, no doubt, with its focus on the tragic, the unworthy, the wrong and imperfect. But truly there is nothing more satisfying than a good requiem, a good minor Russian liturgical piece, a sad movie, a tragic book, a poem that cuts you to the quick. In this Hubster and I are similar. We appreciate life through appreciating the lows as much as the highs, but I know how tough it is to feel happy and find your loved one revelling in a sad song - you feel put upon, unready, frankly, you want to run the other way.
Every year the church experiences Lent. Not all churches usher it in with dust and ashes, although most usher it out with the extra large hymns, range-y descants but of COURSE, and all the pomp they can muster for Easter. I remember the first time my non-denominational church joined a Lutheran parish for the Imposition of the Ashes. We filed past the pastors who dipped his hands in a grey pot and sealed our foreheads with a cross saying over and over "Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return." I was a happy kid, most of the time, so why was I so fascinated by this reminder? Why was I upset ever after when I wasn't able to receive ashes and hear that litany said?
I'm weird, yes, but not so weird that I can escape that need of humanity to be a part of community. I guess that's why this service is so special to me - it ushers in the downer of Lent by joining us together, with Christ and with each other, for a season of studying the dark side of life. We note where and how we've failed to live up to our calling, we note the pain and suffering the world. We do not dole out platitudes and move on quickly to the allelulias. We sit and contemplate. We trade the silver chalice for the clay one. We shroud the gold crosses with purple cloth and focus on that which we'd like to forget - our mortality, our limitation, our failure. There are few occasions in American society where we are encouraged to focus on those things - we idealize a rather perky society on the whole - but here we all strip away pretense and avoidance and kneel and think and feel.
You don't have to be a Christian to understand that deep need to be honest about the human experience, but I hope we Christians, if not in this season than at least sometime each year, observe life with unflinching eyes and experience a time of renewal in our faith not just through the Easter lilies but through the ashes as well.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
The Flores are BACK, BABY!
I just opened a RAW image which I took on my own digital SLR which was captured on a 2 GB card that my sweetie just bought me for Valentine's Day. If you'd told me last Valentine's Day what I would be doing this year, I would not have believed you. Life, kids, can be so pleasantly surprising. Mira:
The roses might have been there when I arrived home Saturday. And they might all be so darn pretty that I want to eat them. But I restrain myself and instead take huge digital images that I then obsessively process.
Obviously I have some kinks to work out and lots of options to explore. Fortunately, my trip to the printers yielded a book on Camera RAW so I have some help.
At least it comes closer to capturing the velvety texture of the petals. Someday I'll be good enough at capture and process to achieve it.
I might also be geeked because I have done all of the following fabulous things in the last 12 hours: received by Valentine's 2GB Compact Flash Card, received my Valentine's cookbook, exchanged some frumpy brown shoes for bangin' brown boots, drank some coffee at a local fair-trade organic coffee shop (and it was delicious!), started reading Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez (awesome so far), and my husband has been a hilarious companion since I got home. By all means tune me out until I rant bitterly about minor annoyances again. You might get a sugar buzz if you stick around here too long.
The roses might have been there when I arrived home Saturday. And they might all be so darn pretty that I want to eat them. But I restrain myself and instead take huge digital images that I then obsessively process.
Obviously I have some kinks to work out and lots of options to explore. Fortunately, my trip to the printers yielded a book on Camera RAW so I have some help.
At least it comes closer to capturing the velvety texture of the petals. Someday I'll be good enough at capture and process to achieve it.
I might also be geeked because I have done all of the following fabulous things in the last 12 hours: received by Valentine's 2GB Compact Flash Card, received my Valentine's cookbook, exchanged some frumpy brown shoes for bangin' brown boots, drank some coffee at a local fair-trade organic coffee shop (and it was delicious!), started reading Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez (awesome so far), and my husband has been a hilarious companion since I got home. By all means tune me out until I rant bitterly about minor annoyances again. You might get a sugar buzz if you stick around here too long.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Lots of Snow and Dress Shopping
The sights, sounds, quips and profound realizations of an entire week are difficult to condense. I know I can't do it justice. Working from home at someone else's home through a two-day snow storm was alternately fun and frustrating - fun when the comraderie was high, the kitty was about, and I knew I'd use the time for the end of the week's slacking off. It was less fun when friends and family discussed the details of their current slacking off. I felt left out, what can I say? I did manage to visit the office on my last day in Indiana to catch up with coworkers. I'm also fully registered, including flights and hotel (Westin, here I come!!!) for Photoshop World East 2007. I'm so pumped! I'm missing Holy Week (which I'm NOT pumped about, especially considering how richly rewarding it was last year), but it's still going to rock my face clean off of my head. Permit me a dorkish "W00T!" (Thank you.)
Thursday afternoon, I picked up my one-way rental at the combination National Car Rental/health food store (where else?) and headed south for my former-roomie's digs at University of Kentucky law school. I had an uneventful trip, thankfully, despite the snow and Indy traffic, and I arrived in time to enjoy a late dinner with her and her fiance. That night, K-dog and I managed to talk until 4am. I believe we've now done this enough times to demonstrate that our "tired" brain signals don't work around each other. It's all in the name of science for these one-semester science majors!
K-dog and I amused ourselves the next day by shopping for dresses as Dillard's while we talked. We were looking for a dress suitable for a wedding she had to attend in a couple of weeks, but we found tons of adorable dresses on clearance, so we settled for two each. I got an adorable semi-casual dress I'm sure I'll wear to church constantly under my choir robe, and we each bought the same awesome printed-stretch halter dress. We both looked good in it and we, sadly, admitted we'd never spend enough time in the same place for anyone to notice about the whole "matching dresses" thing. Sigh.
That night and the next day were a blur. We drove to Cincinnati to her aunt's house and spent the next day bridesmaid dress shopping with her aunt, her mother, and her sister (who flew in from DC). We found one, in the end, and it's beautiful. It took a while, and quite a bit of emotional wrangling with her family, but we made it work in the end. Huzzah for the triumph of . . . intricate negotiation, I guess. Then she drove me to the airport and I arrived home in time for bed. Oh, and then my husband had the day off today and I didn't and I complained about it all day. And now you're all caught up, so on to the pics:
In Kentucky, liquor "stores" are for the feint of heart, apparently.
The oft-mentioned Florence water tower. I didn't believe her when K-dog claimed this existed. I am duly chastised by my own photographic evidence.
Perhaps the most ubiquitous sight this trip: snow.
Snow falling on trees - I used to think there was nothing lovelier until I saw the sun setting on the ice-encased trees in southern Indiana and Ohio. It was so gorgeous that I'm still mad I didn't have my camera and time to spend trolling the streets and highways for the perfect shot. Someday . . .
Thursday afternoon, I picked up my one-way rental at the combination National Car Rental/health food store (where else?) and headed south for my former-roomie's digs at University of Kentucky law school. I had an uneventful trip, thankfully, despite the snow and Indy traffic, and I arrived in time to enjoy a late dinner with her and her fiance. That night, K-dog and I managed to talk until 4am. I believe we've now done this enough times to demonstrate that our "tired" brain signals don't work around each other. It's all in the name of science for these one-semester science majors!
K-dog and I amused ourselves the next day by shopping for dresses as Dillard's while we talked. We were looking for a dress suitable for a wedding she had to attend in a couple of weeks, but we found tons of adorable dresses on clearance, so we settled for two each. I got an adorable semi-casual dress I'm sure I'll wear to church constantly under my choir robe, and we each bought the same awesome printed-stretch halter dress. We both looked good in it and we, sadly, admitted we'd never spend enough time in the same place for anyone to notice about the whole "matching dresses" thing. Sigh.
That night and the next day were a blur. We drove to Cincinnati to her aunt's house and spent the next day bridesmaid dress shopping with her aunt, her mother, and her sister (who flew in from DC). We found one, in the end, and it's beautiful. It took a while, and quite a bit of emotional wrangling with her family, but we made it work in the end. Huzzah for the triumph of . . . intricate negotiation, I guess. Then she drove me to the airport and I arrived home in time for bed. Oh, and then my husband had the day off today and I didn't and I complained about it all day. And now you're all caught up, so on to the pics:
In Kentucky, liquor "stores" are for the feint of heart, apparently.
The oft-mentioned Florence water tower. I didn't believe her when K-dog claimed this existed. I am duly chastised by my own photographic evidence.
Perhaps the most ubiquitous sight this trip: snow.
Snow falling on trees - I used to think there was nothing lovelier until I saw the sun setting on the ice-encased trees in southern Indiana and Ohio. It was so gorgeous that I'm still mad I didn't have my camera and time to spend trolling the streets and highways for the perfect shot. Someday . . .
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
The Word of the Day is "Apropos."
I've been reading Zadie Smith's The Autograph Man for the past couple of weeks, and today I stumbled across the following lines:
The passage appears at a crisis point in a relationship when the woman realizes her man betrayed her, hence the tone. The book deals a lot with themes arising out of the Jewish background of its main character, so faith is not a new concept to him. Still, this concept of needing faith in the relationship is telling, I think. It's not a new concept, but it was interesting to read something so true yet smarm-free on this Day of Smarmy Love. There's a place for sentimentality, but too often it seems like we're either cynical or silly about our loves and our lovers. The honest in-between is worth a look.
That's all I've got for you. Except for Hubster, because I might have said it on the phone a couple eight times, but I kinda love you. Enough that I embarrass you on the interweb with my base sentimentality. I know, I'm too giving!
"There will never be that moment, don't you get it?" she asked, punching the arm of the sofa. "When you've had all the different people you want, when you're done, when you settle for me. People don't settle for people. They resolve to be with them. It takes faith. You draw a circle in the sand and you agree to stand in it and believe in it. It's faith, you idiot." (p.291)
The passage appears at a crisis point in a relationship when the woman realizes her man betrayed her, hence the tone. The book deals a lot with themes arising out of the Jewish background of its main character, so faith is not a new concept to him. Still, this concept of needing faith in the relationship is telling, I think. It's not a new concept, but it was interesting to read something so true yet smarm-free on this Day of Smarmy Love. There's a place for sentimentality, but too often it seems like we're either cynical or silly about our loves and our lovers. The honest in-between is worth a look.
That's all I've got for you. Except for Hubster, because I might have said it on the phone a couple eight times, but I kinda love you. Enough that I embarrass you on the interweb with my base sentimentality. I know, I'm too giving!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Snow Day!
I may be in the mad, mad world of Indiana winter storms, but I am not dead. Yet. I flew out here Sunday night and stayed over with Bee for delicious dinner eating, Grammy snarking, rum and coke drinking, and a whole lotta sittin' around. Yum. A snippet of the evening's proceedings:
Scene: Will, Neo the Cat and I in Bee's kitchen
Erica to Neo, who is sniffing at her face: "Hey there, kitten-cat, what's up? Why are you sniffing at me so intently? Is my breath scented?"
Will (looks up from stirring the pasta sauce): "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
E: "I was talking to Neo. He seemed to sniffing my breath and I asked him if it was scented."
W: "Oh, I thought you said something else."
E (laughing): "No, honey, they're not scented!"
/scene
Scene: Bee, Plankiest, and I are watching the Grammys and Beyonce comes out to sing looking like this:
E: Oh, Beyonce, you can wear the white gardenias but your are SO NOT Billie Holiday. Grrrr.
Bee: I'm so glad Erica's here to get mad at the random stuff.
Dawn: (laughs musically, not because of the occasion but because her laugh is always musical)
/scene
After partying and talking, we hit the hay at midnight. BossLady picked us up at the house around 7:30am for the drive down to Cincinnati for a press check on my big beastly project. I got to tour the printing house seeing the massive machinery which provides so much delight to readers like me by printing, trimming, gluing and sewing words into pretty, pretty books and magazines. Oh, and we also got to take free books from their "sample room," a magical place from whence I took several digital photography guides, a couple of crafting books (Teach Yourself to Knit? Okay!), and some other good stuff. Raise the song for free books! (Cue random, semi-blasphemous singing.)
We got out a little early from the proceedings because we knew the Blizzard of 2007 would hit in the evening. We ended up having time for a leisurely dinner at Loon Lake Lodge after all, and I enjoyed my American Bison Meatloaf with Garlic and Cheddar Smashed Potatoes (although avoid their overdone, bacon-flavored green beans - blech), as well as half-price bottle of wine night with a Jewel Collection Petite Syrah. We wrapped up and drove Bee home before heading home ourselves and beating the snow. Highlight:
Scene: BossLady's car, as she prepares to fill up the gas tank on our way home. Bee and I in attendance.
BossLady: Could you get my company credit card out of my wallet? Be careful about the change purse, though. It's a little overfull, and it's incontinent.
Bee and E: (laugh uproariously)
E: You know, that works as a metaphor for budgets, too. I'm going to try using that next time I overspend - I can't be blamed, MY WALLET IS INCONTINENT!
/scene
I guess I didn't realize how tired I was because I started reading my cuddled up in bed at 10:00 and I awoke at 3:00am to find myself still dressed under the covers. Oops! I got ready for bed and slept until 9:00am when I got ready for going into the office. Sadly, with roads bad and getting worse, the office was not to be, so I've been working from Boss HQ all day. Thursday afternoon I head off to see KD and do all kinds of crazy wedding stuff with her, her mom, her aunt, and her sister in (where else for this trip?) Cincinnati. I'm looking forward to it, especially now that working through this snow day gives me the time off gratis. Huzzah!
Okay, I know I'm boring you. I could tell you all about the fantastic weekend Hubster and I enjoyed, but that would be OVER THE TOP ANNOYING, I KNOW. So I dutifully shut up and tell you to have a great day and stay warm and safe. ¡Hasta!
Scene: Will, Neo the Cat and I in Bee's kitchen
Erica to Neo, who is sniffing at her face: "Hey there, kitten-cat, what's up? Why are you sniffing at me so intently? Is my breath scented?"
Will (looks up from stirring the pasta sauce): "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
E: "I was talking to Neo. He seemed to sniffing my breath and I asked him if it was scented."
W: "Oh, I thought you said something else."
E (laughing): "No, honey, they're not scented!"
/scene
Scene: Bee, Plankiest, and I are watching the Grammys and Beyonce comes out to sing looking like this:
E: Oh, Beyonce, you can wear the white gardenias but your are SO NOT Billie Holiday. Grrrr.
Bee: I'm so glad Erica's here to get mad at the random stuff.
Dawn: (laughs musically, not because of the occasion but because her laugh is always musical)
/scene
After partying and talking, we hit the hay at midnight. BossLady picked us up at the house around 7:30am for the drive down to Cincinnati for a press check on my big beastly project. I got to tour the printing house seeing the massive machinery which provides so much delight to readers like me by printing, trimming, gluing and sewing words into pretty, pretty books and magazines. Oh, and we also got to take free books from their "sample room," a magical place from whence I took several digital photography guides, a couple of crafting books (Teach Yourself to Knit? Okay!), and some other good stuff. Raise the song for free books! (Cue random, semi-blasphemous singing.)
We got out a little early from the proceedings because we knew the Blizzard of 2007 would hit in the evening. We ended up having time for a leisurely dinner at Loon Lake Lodge after all, and I enjoyed my American Bison Meatloaf with Garlic and Cheddar Smashed Potatoes (although avoid their overdone, bacon-flavored green beans - blech), as well as half-price bottle of wine night with a Jewel Collection Petite Syrah. We wrapped up and drove Bee home before heading home ourselves and beating the snow. Highlight:
Scene: BossLady's car, as she prepares to fill up the gas tank on our way home. Bee and I in attendance.
BossLady: Could you get my company credit card out of my wallet? Be careful about the change purse, though. It's a little overfull, and it's incontinent.
Bee and E: (laugh uproariously)
E: You know, that works as a metaphor for budgets, too. I'm going to try using that next time I overspend - I can't be blamed, MY WALLET IS INCONTINENT!
/scene
I guess I didn't realize how tired I was because I started reading my cuddled up in bed at 10:00 and I awoke at 3:00am to find myself still dressed under the covers. Oops! I got ready for bed and slept until 9:00am when I got ready for going into the office. Sadly, with roads bad and getting worse, the office was not to be, so I've been working from Boss HQ all day. Thursday afternoon I head off to see KD and do all kinds of crazy wedding stuff with her, her mom, her aunt, and her sister in (where else for this trip?) Cincinnati. I'm looking forward to it, especially now that working through this snow day gives me the time off gratis. Huzzah!
Okay, I know I'm boring you. I could tell you all about the fantastic weekend Hubster and I enjoyed, but that would be OVER THE TOP ANNOYING, I KNOW. So I dutifully shut up and tell you to have a great day and stay warm and safe. ¡Hasta!
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