Thursday, July 28, 2005

Maxi-Idiocy Alert!

I receive catalogs from a clothing/lingerie company a couple of times a week. That's a lot of marketing mumbo-jumbo to sort through, and yesterday, I found one of the most mumbo-y jumbos EVER. Next to an ordinary-looking lip gloss container, a blurb read: "Super-sexy gloss uses Maxi-Lip technology to give you poutier lips in 30 days."

Imagine a scene with me: It's your ten-year class reunion and everyone is mingling during the cocktail hour (more appropriately called that for some than others). You are very glad you grabbed a stiff drink because an old acquantaince, after hearing that you work in IT, announces that she works in MLT. "Oh?" You say, your blood pressure rising as you desperately try to remember if that's a subfield of some kind. Macro-Logic? Mac/Linux? Maddening Logistics? Mild Laxative? What is it? Aaaa!. . . "Yeah," she finally says, "you know, Maxi-Lip Technology? I always DID get A's to your B's! (condescending chuckle)."

Please, people, enough is enough - NO MORE NAMING YOUR INNOVATIONS LIKE THEY'RE ROCKET SCIENCE. It just makes you sound needy and desperate. Also? "Maxi" makes me think of "pads" not "pouts." Not helping your cause.


Neil said...

i used "maxi" in a scrabble game today against beth

it's a good word

but it doesn't have the same meaning as how you used it here

oh well

let's hang out sometime

Moi said...

This is indeed sad, because I was hoping to pad out my resume with carefully chosen job titles ... Adolescent Wrangler ... Emotion Technician ... SelfEsteem Negator.