Tuesday, January 17, 2006

"Mental Stew" fits nicely

I'm tired, y'all. Work is still taking up a lot of mental steam. The big projects are vying for head space along with lots and lots of tiny things that have to be done. I'm hoping that pretty soon I'll learn to ignore that periodic panicked feeling I get that "somewhere something important is being missed," but I have had little success till now. Of course if I managed to ignore it totally then I really would miss things, so I'm just living moment to moment, trying to make the list of tasks smaller and more managable so the panic won't be necessary anymore.

I went back to counseling today, too. I was doing better after last summer, but several things have started weighing on me again, so I'm doing some maintainence. It felt really good. I spent so much of my down times over the past two or three years endlessly analyzing what was happening, trying to figure it all out. I think I needed to talk it out more than I did, but I think there's a lot of value to having a professional around to do the listening. I find myself being okay with being honest about things that would be harder with a friend. I don't have to go out later and get a beer with this person, so it doesn't matter if I sound more upset than I should. Being honest, in fact, gets me out the door sooner anyway because the help I get is real, tailered to me. I'm hoping that it also makes it easier to avoid the mental clutter during work. It hasn't been so bad I can't finish that page I was working on, but it hasn't helped during this busy season.

So that's what's up. I have a few more pictures of my hair (ones which, when captioned, would not have to make reference to a "nasal cam" of any kind), and I might post them if I'm out of other stuff. I have a couple of unformed ideas floating around in the ole mental stew. Here's an idea, instead of me blathering on and on about how hard it is for me blather currently, how about you drop me a line, a comment, whatever, and let me know how you're doing and what you're up to. De-lurking is good for you!

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