Tuesday, September 26, 2006

In Medias Wait

My right knee has been hurting. I'm not sure when it started hurting. I think it was closer to two weeks ago. I worked out and the next day the entire area felt stiff, and it hurt more to fully open and clench closed than anything else. Relatively easy to ignore once you got used to the sensation of tightness. It's gotten better and worse, and after I gingerly did my power yoga yesterday, it seems to be stiff, but better. It's odd.

That's kinda what's going on in my head right now, too. There's a "blockage" in my thoughts? No, that's not the way to describe. I don't really know how to describe it, but my thoughts keep jumping from one tense subject to another without actually allowing me to conclude anything - like the way toward resolution is stopped up. It's not exhausting, angering, or even that frustrating most of the time, but the sensation is still there. And it's making me rather moody - turning on a dime from Happiness Dr to Surliness Ave and then back again. Wound tight much? Yeah, I'd say so.

It's partially the anticipation. I'll be rid of certain parts of my job that have been driving me up a wall for a while soon-ish. It might be soon (sans -ish), and indeed probably will be. Yet until it happens, I'm hanging on the edge of the cliff, ready to dive off in wild abandon and delight in the freefall while still holding on with one hand on the edge. Tedious and intense at once. At home, I'm figuring out which lens to buy and then waiting for it while my camera stares blankly at me from the desk. I'm exploring my personal career goals. I'm waiting for some decisions to be made with Hubster about goals for our savings and budget. I'm waiting for the next big visit from family and friends. I'm waiting for my knee to feel totally normal again. I'm waiting . . .

What are you waiting for?

2 comments:

Mair said...

I'm waiting to feel like I'm actually ahead, or at least on track, in my work. I'm also waiting for Godot.

Add to your list that you are waiting until I get my butt in gear to send you a package...nothing too exciting, just something you forgot here.

Anonymous said...

I'm not gonna lie, I'm waiting to get engaged :)

~Megan