Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Invisible Zipper Foot Of Relentless Wretchedness

I like Steven Colbert's "On Notice" feature on The Colbert Report, so I'm going to rip it off in the time-honored tradition of imitation and flattery.

Coats & Clark Invisible Zipper Foot? YOU ARE OFFICIALLY ON NOTICE. If I weren't out of other options at present you would most-certainly be "Dead to Me,." As it stands, I'll have to replace you when I find an alternative, a proposition I've found very hard, despite your obvious suckitude.

You are made out of plastic. And not hard plastic either, this stuff is WAY TOO BENDY to be used in a mechanical devise. It shifts all over the place and I broke three (3!) needles on a shirt I was making, I mean YIIIKES, you'da thought I was trying to install a zipper with about the same kind of plastic as my freakin' zipper foot. (cursing redacted)

Oh, and you comes in parts. Look, C&C, your thread (while mediocre) is fine really, and your zippers are great - I buy them all the time. BUT IF I WANTED TO PLAY WITH BLOCKS, I WOULD HAVE AVOIDED THE SEWING MACHINE ENTIRELY, MMMKAY? Save the Lincoln Logs for antiquey-themed talking pictures and make my zipper foot strong plastic or, better yet, METAL (which I can't seem to find at all).

And I don't care if you ARE cheap at $2.29. NO! NIET! NEIN!

That is all.


Katie said...

AMEN. I found your blog trying to search for ways to install this stupid zipper foot on my machine. WHAT A PAIN! I am about to rip my hair out.

Debbie said...

I concur!!! This is stupid. I am just going to use the zipper foot that came with my machine!!! I want my 2.00 back.

Laurel said...

argh! i finally realized how to get the darn foot on my machine, but i can't lower the darn needle all the way through the darn hole. i think i'm just going to use the darn regular zipper foot. PATIENCE! if this escalates to the point where i can't use "darn" anymore and want to go up a level, then i think i need a break. or chocolate.