Thursday, March 17, 2005

-2 units of wretchedness

I called my friend back today and we got to chatting and had a grand old time. We talked for close to 2 hours - huge for me - you have no idea! I think we've actually thought up a viable plan to keep up more. Not too shabby.

I think I freaked out so much (trust me, it was worse in person - ask K ;-) because I feel my discipline lacking in so many areas right now. There are few immediate negative consequences to slacking off, though I still feel like I'm waiting for the hammer to fall. I used to have exams or papers that were seasons of procrastinating, but also gave me deadlines where I would redeem myself. Now there are no deadlines and there are no positive milestones, either. If I don't implement some order, it'll be years of habits to unlearn, not months.

Still, that's no reason to paint myself out as the World's Worst Friend, or even the World's Worst Correspondent. I just wanted to feel control and it's much easier to reform my communication habits than it is to tackle completely decorating my home, making meals from scratch every night, joining a world-renowned choir, reading intellectual material every night, improving my marriage, and learning to be a better person. Baby steps, baby steps . . .

No comments: