258 days

This one's for the ole hubster, so don't say I didn't warn the rest of you. READ ON AT YOUR OWN RISK. Writing it down for him and for posterity is just my way of making these thoughts more permanent than merely sounding out the words and calling it a day.

Happy 258th Day Anniversary! As un-fun as it was, I think having that discussion this evening was the much more of a milestone than any date on a calendar (including the meaningless one I'm making such a big deal about >;). Yes, no one gets married at the "perfect" time in their life, and yes, perhaps tying the knot when I was at such a mental low place for so long probably made it tougher on us. I have regrets about life but thanks to God's grace, your grace/perseverance and my (sometimes) successful attempts to take action, this is not one of them.

I do regret my own behavior and attitude when planning the wedding, not because I made things too tough on you (we both agreed that wasn't so, and it felt so good to hear you say that!), but because I was too weak-willed. I was too selfishly interested in my own security to think of other options, to take big risks and to really TELL you how upset I was at my workload and your laziness in the face of it. I was passive aggressive about it (Oh, my! I used that bad, evil word). You have shown me that you can get past those momentary failings and fulfill all the potential I saw in you that made me say "YES!" in the first place. For this, and many other reasons, you are marvelous.

I shouldn't recap, I shouldn't rehash. It was said better tonight anyhow. (And, may I just say, we said some things very, very well tonight. We were poetic. We rock!) AHEM. Seriousness.

I love you. Blah, blah, yes more than when we giddily ran out of the church and laughed and smiled at everyone in sight. I enjoy your company more than I did then. I respect you more than I did then. Shared experiences have made us stronger, even when nit-picky details have conspired to drive us both far from the person we swore to be with till we croaked. For that, love, I wish you a very Merry Un-Anniversary. And many more . . .

And to the rest of you reading this: Don't talk about how cliche I am behind my back (heh - easily accomplished since you never see my face in this medium) to everyone. I know this fact. I'm just glad my beau can forgive me this weakness.